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are malaysian ready for this yet?
Kyle Immanuel Khairudin, a singaporean has been a long life freethinker maybe since his teenage days i supposed and for the sake of the loved one's and also the need to choose his true believes, he recently spoke of what he really embrace. christianity. and yes, he was born muslim malays.
"many people assume that i'm malay, i must be muslim, but i'm not." for some of us in malaysia would rather accused him of being blasphemous but this situation is currently evolve in some areas in malaysia.
for people like Kyle it seems to be an easy choice afterall, Singapore is a secular and totally democratic country with no religion authority like we have in Malaysia.
more about Kyle? clik here (.pdf)
i'm really aware of what's happening in our society and actually sail deeply in the heart of this kind of culture. some of my friends are freethinker's. i'm not blaming them and obviously not really care in what terms they belive in but most of the time i'm amaze upon people's perception with this matter. it amaze me that in malaysia, being racism is far more acceptable than religous matter. at least Kyle believes in what he see and what he feels that being a malay by birth doe'snt mean he have to embrace islam and actually prove to us maybe in a blasphemous kinda way.
people are still spooned with the religous and well addressed perception about the society in media and everywhere yet leaving behind the true colour of misled and 'lost' society that i'm befriends with. with that kind of perception, im not shocked that malaysian are still going strong with the race issue.
it is shocked that malaysians are still not aware of the real terms of embracing islam. playing racial issue's in democratic party seems to be the main agenda for malaysians nowadays. i still havent got a clue where does the racial things going after election is over? as far as i'm concern, still nowhere.
i'm totally not worthy of bragging about faith but i knew one thing:
religion is sacred. its between u and god. only u and god. faith is the only thing that u hold on to. not race. jew is race. judaism is religion.
the real deal is, are we ready for this yet? i dont think so.
yeaa i know, its late! sorry guys.
firstly, there is nothing much that i did in the last few days. i travel back to kota bharu last weekends and it was fulfilling. remember that i use to say that i really miss my grandpa? yup. i really do. meeting him again last weekends really brought a tiny tears from my eyes. and guess what, he was really happy to see me. i wonder does he knows that i am missing him still.
he was a successfull man. his life is full off struggle and success. his life stories brought an inspiration to me. in the middle stage of his life, he has been a political figure. his contribution was enormous and yet fulfilling the needs.
he will always be my hero.
secondly, i did pamper myself to kelantan foods! it was awesome. with the tight two days schedule, i manage to eat everything that ive been craving for since my last entourage and yes, SUP BELUT and PADPRIK BELUT was the highest ranking in my list!
it taste awesome. its sensational in its own way. your can really feel the satisfactory upon sipping the soup and chewing the eel flesh. it was increadible. and after that, the spooky image of the office came along and swept everything out of my fuckin' mind.
last week im on fever. till now, i still feel the infections are still present. not many cases are discovered about this kind of fever but mostly infecting some of fully developed metalheads. there are little knowledge about the cure and how to treat it but it seldom works on hardcore shopaholic metalheads. its the L.P.trosis fever symptom's. the disease is really rare but it could be fatal if the infections are not prevented at the early stage. ive got infected by it once back in the years but it struck me again hard this time. this terrible disease will make ur brains hallucinate that u own this fuckin world and u still want more. its more addictive than drugs. the only way to calm down is the subtance called "eBay". this subtance will ease out the pain but it also have some dangerous side effects if taken accesively. but every disease has a cure. and agin, it has not been proven working yet. test from the results indicates that the L.P.trosis survivor may not be able to think positively and it seems like their mind are still stuck in certain periods mostly at the time of infections. can i beat this fuckin disease? i aint gotta clue bro!
to aishah sazali, the crazy high on sugar hangout was an escape from my miserable torn life. thanx gurl.
this week was a totally hectic week.
i dunno why.
ive got lots of things worked out not the way it should be.
i went out with chicks this week but its sure not convincing me that im actually living i a fucking place called REALITY.
temptations has always been a friend but we never get a long well. but right now im starting to think what if i just say hi. still, im fuckin sure that i really cant handle it well. i feel so fuckin awkward with that thing infront of everytime i went out. its like im in front of a fuckin door of hell. grasping and waving for me to come along and lift me up to where i supposed to be.
dear Tiger, i bet we're still not gonna meet personally after all.
maybe next time. try harder. maybe its ur lucky day.
its hard being a fuckin rednecks poseur. i really do.
Back again with new devastating outcome. huhuhuhu
as usual, the same old nagging.
yesterday was a very interesting sunday i ever had. its a shocking expirienced altered with some unusual feelings occurs. i went to EXPO KERJAYA DAN KEUSAHAWANAN at PWTC yesterday. im not focusing the exact public problems much but from what ive seen, many malaysian are jobless. and guess what. ironicaly, there were so many jobs offered there. hmmmm. it kept me thinking that why am i so stupid thinking that its hard to get a job nowadays while most of the employer even greet everybody whether u were looking for a job or not at their booth. thats an awkwarrd situation right there. an emloyer begging u to send your resume to them. since ive already have a job, ive start to feel insecure while looking at thousands graduates were actually so damn selectives. i did my luck in some companies and it came out with some great respons. what the heck.
half of my saturday were filled with rednecks achievments. huhuhuh
woke up late then straight away lepaking with usual metalheads friends @ MCPA and then kg. baru. right after that, i got a call from ajak deathkren to meet him and the guys ov BURGERKILL from indonesia. it was a pleasent suprise for me. huhhuh. and they were awesome. we did went to their hotel rooms as well just to catch up with certain unforgetable moments and sharing ideas. right after that, we went straight to lepaking at jalan alor. where most rednecks hangout. huhuhuhu. like always, ill be the only sober.
what a wonderful fullfillment.
viva la manchester united!!!!!!!!
40 years ago, the same date as today, Malaysia were shocked with a bloodred events that occurs in some areas in KL, Selangor and certain other areas.
it was the infamous bloodbath and chaotic war among Malaysian ethnicity. mostly were Malays, Chinese and Indians involved.
it was reported that the chinese was the firetsrter when it happens to start a gathering after the GERAKAN Party won nearly half of KL in 1969 general elections.
some says the toll for victims exceed nearly 2000 people dead. mostly were chinese.
Today, malaysians are tired of talking about racism and ethnic superiority. basicaly, what happens now is that, everybody just tend to follow the old rules. happens to know for sure that the malays came out with an idea, the chinese tend to get money from it and the indians do all the dirty works. that kind of propaganda was spread out in various or maybe from time to time.
frustations do occurs. it is how we gonna unite is the damn answer.
thanx to DS Najib that came out with a realistic idea, ONE MALAYSIA.
despite all other vulgar words towards the government and maybe some of the oppositions, the idea was strong but how much it will affect the problematic rendezvous that happens now in malaysia. PAS came out with more relevant islamic idea which is PAS FOR ALL actually the purpose was the same as what Najib was saying. but more or less in islamic point of view.
lets ask GOD for forgiveness. please shine us to the right path...
check this out guys >> http://ms.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peristiwa_13_Mei
its been a while since my last post. or perhaps, my last re-post.
things have been working out well for the past 2-3 weeks. really looking forward for it though.
guess that ive been busy for quite sometimes now with a really tight schedule but hey, i'm still having fun.
being a total redneck has taught me something valuable. u could be wasted as hell but still, the pride doesn't get washed away. wasted or not, i still gotta work my ass up for the sake of living expenses. i'm not done with being a redneck. its a cool way of dealing with problems without engaging with drugs . yup, its true. they just call it "FUCK IT" for every problems occur in your life.
lots of things happens in my journey these few weeks.
gigs and metal shows has always become favour. it was METAL CAMP II that caught my intentions for days. i wonder, will everybody stop on talking about FLUERS DU MAL? thanx to VILE, i now know what DEPOPULATE really means. those who were at METAL CAMP II will understand what im getting to. huhuhu.
chocolates makes me go wild!
i did went to a restaurant (dunno what was it called) last week. its inside the famous mall nowadays "The Curve". before this i use to like Peddington House Of Pancakes and i will surely do love it till now. but this new desert serving premis really digs it. the chocolate cakes (or brownies / pancakes or i dunno what) was suprisingly superb with a scoop of vanilla ice creams on the side. till now, im still wondering about the name of the shop!! sigh.
my heart beats on..
im now having a difficulties of missing someone. i really miss my grandpa. with my tight and busy schedule, my only reason of living is him. i thank god for taking care of him. i really do. ive been praying a lot and hoping ill have some possible free times to actually go down to Kota Bharu and be with him.
i love u grandpa. i really do.
whats up!!
its supposed to be a re-post ov my past blogs.
guess what, great times do come in handy. ive been looking for it for quite sometimes and even a small piece of it will do.
i now just keep on looking forward and hope for more of it to come. even if it just passing by me, ill be thankfull enough. what more can i expect from HIM to give a special treat to a piece of junk like me. hell yeah i dont even deserve it.
im being honest. pretending doesnt really go elsewhere.
from everybody's perspective, ill be the most brutal and bare knuckels death metal guitarist and when it comes to a softside ov me, ill end up with Destinys Child and Nicole Scherzinger CD's in my player. huhuhu. what a shame. my apology to Alex ov KRISIUN, yes, i am your awfull filthy fan.
but hey, why cant i? isnt the purpose ov being indipendent is doing what u want to do? who the fuck gonna stop me from listening to my own playlist?
there many parts ov me that belongs to something else. i have my own focus. metal music, business, work, hateTV, bands, social networking, chicks call, family and many oher things that comes and go. why bother restricting myself with such an ignorrant behaviour ov being as brutal as fuck but actually in ur blood there is a softside ov u that reaching out for a glimpse. its obviously not gay at all if u actually think that way.
so come on guys. just do ur thing.
cant pretend?
here is the solutions... BE YOURSELF!!
last saturday was a nice blast.
my band demolished it with full force!!.
whats up with it anyway? hmmm. its been weeks that the band have turnout to be a meaningless. the aura has faded and frustration has become an easy choice of recognitions.
it was last saturday, we finaly found the stolen jewel of the band.
with new line up.. we MARCH!!!!!
im at war with my own desire.
im at war with how to justify my needs and passions.
past has been an easy target for my future expectations.
i need a mission aligned with vision.
future are broad.
struggle is hard.
i now surrender to god's will.
it was my last travel to singapore i did really fell in love with Roxy.
she's the one who kept me smiling all the way while i was in singapore.
i didnt care much about paying her. infact, she did gave me discounts.
i love her so much.
but now, im here in malaysia. how can i fond her? i miss her assets.
owh Roxy. my beloved LP / Vinyl Store....
Technology has always been our friend lately. but hell no. im proud of being an analog lover. hahaha.
say hello to my new turntable / LP player. got it third hand i guess from a special friend since ive trashed my old ones.
my old turntable enhanced with line outs but this freaking new ones uses phono amps for the outputs. hell yeah ive got those phono amps.
trust me. it sounds incredible. u'll fuckin love it when u see ur LP spins.
troo KVLT i must say!!!
now, getting the LP is the hard parts.
interesting story it is.
life is ackward. terrified by humiliating past and blurred with congested future, i now walked a different path.
today, i'm different.
relationship has always been a best fucked up agenda to me. as it today, im now not a lousy fiance to someone who had a purple and cherishable things in her life. ive been in sweetdreams for a long time already. this means no more hangouts, no more latenite talks, no more pillow talks, no more birthday wish, no more etc..
lets just not blame to each other for once. every human being needs a lifetime chance to experience it. ive definitely overwhelmed by it but it seems that i didnt try it enough.
i dont even know what love means anymore. is it worth it?
im a man full of desire. lurking out to reach some point where every mojo is not the only thing in life.
tears has always been my freaking friend lately. i never regret that. emotions do come sometimes.
ive fooled around with endless wrath and limbo of destructive feelings. ive dances with desirable snakes. ive walked through hell and yet i still miss the calm soft hand on my cheecks and chest. facing me with sorrow eyes. saying chants of emotions to take me away from all this botomless pit. where there's no desire to fulfilled, no soul to be scrife, no castle or gold to be spared. only words, promises, trust and yes, definitely love.
then came another part of this journey where it all make sense. LETTING GO.
its hard to be shared emotionally but yet its painfull enough to breaks every little faith ive got in my soul just to see only the glimpse of it. its like where all the birds just flew away distantly under the thundered and raining sky. ive seen the consequences. ive seen the history before. its just a matter of time everything will be put to end. choosing that seems to be a simple task. regrets is so yesterday.
now, its for me to choose the preferable path.
HITCH was right. at least a guy like me desarve a great chances.
have u ever ask anybody about ur own karma? do u ever ask about what d hell happened in ur fuckin life?
well, thats probably a question from a dude with bad karma all d way.
yup. its me. all ov my thoughts in this fuckin blogs is always about how im dealing my fuckin problems. to tell u d truth, im tired of this fuckin nonesense. ive been waiting and waiting for some lights to shine me through but hey, no luck as well. will i be able to actually find my luck?
money is aways a problems. but i never have been regretting it.seriously. always with an idea of surviving. maybe thats my kind of luck i guess.
what if i could be a doctor? maybe ill be livin large plus with a decent wifey i guess. or maybe i could be a CEO in some MNC or GLC company. thats might sounds better. perhaps i could be a political figure,or maybe some guy in nice suits that wouldnt be much of a problems for me dealing with financials i guess.
ive been asking a lot to god about my karma but obviously, god must have a great plans for me in the end i guess.
but im only an old rocker who thinks he can change the fuckin world.
seriously, despite all the curses, i now surrender to god's will!
Im back!!
serious guys, its been a while since i drop a pen to write in here (keyboard obviously).
guess what, great times do come in handy. ive been looking for it for quite sometimes and even a small piece of it will do.
i now just keep on looking forward and hope for more of it to come. even if it just passing by me, ill be thankfull enough. what more can i expect from HIM to give a special treat to a piece of junk like me. hell yeah i dont even deserve it.
im being honest. pretending doesnt really go elsewhere.
from everybody's perspective, ill be the most brutal and bare knuckels death metal guitarist and when it comes to a softside ov me, ill end up with Destinys Child and Nicole Scherzinger CD's in my player. huhuhu. what a shame. my apology to Alex ov KRISIUN, yes, i am your awfull filthy fan.
but hey, why cant i? isnt the purpose ov being indipendent is doing what u want to do? who the fuck gonna stop me from listening to my own playlist?
there many parts ov me that belongs to something else. i have my own focus. metal music, business, work, hateTV, bands, social networking, chicks call, family and many oher things that comes and go. why bother restricting myself with such an ignorrant behaviour ov being as brutal as fuck but actually in ur blood there is a softside ov u that reaching out for a glimpse. its obviously not gay at all if u actually think that way.
so come on guys. just do ur thing.
cant pretend?
here is the solutions... BE YOURSELF!!
ive been messing around for quite sometimes these days. im also trying to understand what am i worth for. basically it doesnt make any sense at all i guess. these few months has been a hectic months for any of my relationships. life is definitely cruel sometimes. im still wandering around and for god sake's still not knowing my purpose of living. tell me everything. wasting my life, doing stupid things, freaking out or whatsoeva. im still the same fuckin dick.
its nice sometimes to know other people oppinions rather than blaming urselves out for what happening in ur surroundings. i use to ask god fro what am i living. and believe me, for the past 3 months, ive been asking him a lot and yet... NO ANSWER. i guess im not worhty for HIM as well.
after this 5-6 months period.. things has never get any better. ive been re-scheduling my life but still, im unpredicted. the seconds i get this great things.. the seconds i got this bad things.. as well. everything just happened to be FUCKED UP! yes.. for me.. its everyday. im not just fuckin actng and obviously not being a FUCKIN EMO if thats what u mean. this is fuckin REAL!!
ive stop pretending months ago. yess. obviously pretending is the most suitable words for what ive been doing before. ive been messin around with someones life and still being proud of it. who's a fuckin MORON can even do that?? for the past 3 months ive tasted a lot in my life. JEALOUSY, PRETENDING, FUCKED UP, LIAR, STUPIDITY, DEATH, CRAPS, SORROW.. just name it.. yup. ive tasted a lot..
maybe the key objective's in my life is actually STUPIDITY. its a simple word but it suits me right. building up my life is not easy task for me.. lookin at how many ruins i have made. but i finally realize.. ive still got my 10% of my life that i can save. and still.... FUCK U MYSPACE!!!
this is my later blog that i have psted on myspace. just to fill things up in here. enjoy :
And again Rimie... congratulations... u r now once again a product of failure.
turns out that it is embedded to me since i was born i guess. life is suppose to be toughtfull and great but it turn out to be filthy and shitty failure. i never work things out. it wouldnt work out well on everything.
remember that i use to say about the "why do i bother" syndrome? well, it wont work as far as im concerned.
shit always happens.
how about try to win somebodys heart and ur out of fuel and also cash?? and ur car need fixing and accidentally run somebodys car.
thats is not like "shit happens". thats is damn filthy goat vomit all over me. he he.
again.. fail
what about, trying to impress someone u r something and yet u r nothing. wow, now thats a good start. think again smart ass. ull never be one.
ermm, again... hey, lets call some that i knew. maybe we can hang out??
teeeeeeetttttttt.... the number has been changed. thats not awfull. thats my KARMA. i was born a fuckin failure.
dont try to tell that i wrote this because of love or some crappy things like it. its just a metaphore statement u idiots.
god, do i deserve this?? do i really need this?? i dont need strength right now god. i need protection. protection from my own desire. i know ive been asking a lot lately and yes.. im being honest that i always left u behind. but please god. i need u now.
but hey god, i guess i really deserve this right?
ill just be one sicko guy who turn out to be something dull monumen and everybody would just come and lean on me and go just like the wind. hell yeah its true.
do i need top be something??
do i need to keep doing being myself??
and guess what. she's always right!! LOVE U MOM!!!
and FUCK U MYSPACE!!!!
the stage was awesome!!!! its fuckin huge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
